I've been thinking about something lately.
We know that 28% of Australian children under the age of 15 are growing up across separated homes. We also know that these kids are twice as likely to present to a therapist’s office seeking support for anxiety and other distress.
And here’s the problem: there is virtually no training on the unique needs of these families or, crucially, on how our therapeutic processes and documentation intersect with the dispute resolution systems in Family Law. This leaves many skilled therapists feeling overwhelmed and underskilled, unsure of how their valuable work impacts (or unintentionally exposes) clients during mediation, collaboration, or court proceedings.
Tiffany Rochester has spent two decades working at the coalface of family separation, and she's learned some things that offer real hope for how we can support these families.
I asked her to share three insights that might shift how you approach this work. Here's what she said:
1. The conflict isn't always what it seems
We see parents fighting, and we assume they're stuck in a destructive pattern. But often? The conflict is a symptom, not the problem.
What looks like two people who can't let go might actually be two people responding to a system that's making collaboration nearly impossible. Court processes. Rigid advice. Well-meaning professionals who accidentally fan the flames.
When we understand the context that's maintaining the conflict, we can intervene differently — and more effectively.
2. The Power of One Parent
You do not need both parents on the couch for profound change.
One parent, equipped with skills from Contextual Behavioural Science, can intentionally shift dynamics, model prosocial behaviour, and create seismic shifts for the entire family system.
3. You Can Be So Much More than a Witness
The adversarial legal system only gains our insights under the aversive spotlight of court reports and cross-examination.
But there is a path where your expertise can guide the entire process—working alongside lawyers and financial experts to build a safe, seamless future for the family.
It is the most powerful, child-focused application of your expertise.
Want to Learn More?
If any of this resonates, I'd encourage you to join Tiffany for her upcoming webinar:
Transforming Family Separation from Conflict to Collaboration
11 December 2025 | 6:00 PM – 7:30 PM AEDT
This isn't just theory. Tiffany will walk you through the mechanisms that escalate conflict, show you how to build collaborative teams, and give you practical tools you can use immediately.
I've learned so much from Tiffany over the years. She has this rare combination of deep expertise and genuine warmth — you'll leave feeling both informed and inspired.
Let's keep learning together.
Louise
